You're Never Too Old To Learn About Swearing Or Sex

My 13 year old received the talk at school last Friday. I forgot to ask how it went, but I know it wasn't anything she hasn't already heard, or more importantly discussed. We have that talk at the dinner table, breakfast table, or when we are driving them to school, IOW, my girls have never called a penis a pipi, or a vagina a vajayjay, except when they heard Oprah say it, and "vajayjay" became the fun word of the week. I always think it is some sort of embarrassment, or shame issue when we relegate our sexual organs to euphemisms.

We have what I refer to as a girl's house. My husband tries not to smile, and my youngest tries to shock us. I have a secret defense against her weapon, and it's called experience honey;  heard it all before from the one who will not be named.

Anyway, she summarized the talk by reporting that the boys giggled, and it struck her as funny because the "don't have sex lecture" was held in church. Catholics have an interesting sense of irony.

This year has been interesting for me too; I learned something new about sex.  What, you ask?  A secret position only known to a recently discovered indigenous tribe?  Nope! I discovered that boys in grade seven like to hump desks. Need I say more?

Not to be outdone, IG told her dad she learned a new word: Fugly.

Fugly? her mark (AKA daddy) replied.
Yes, it means fucking ugly, sweet IG smiled as she knew he was in her web.
 Well that's just ugly! her diptera responded with all the dignity a soon to be devoured meal could muster.
 Yes, agreed our little arachnid It's fugly.

“"Will you walk into my parlor?" said the Spider to the Fly; "'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy”


While watching Dirty Dancing, I informed IG that's the girl on Dancing With The Stars. I find it interesting when they see movie stars when they were young, and the reality of time surprises them but not IG.  She made me laugh with her atypical reply:  OMG, is that the girl who cries!...

I always thought of Jennifer Grey as the girl who ruined her career by having a nose job.  Why that was, I could never figure out then, but now I think they wanted Baby to just love herself the way she was. Isn't that the message of the talk?  Be who you're supposed to be , and you' ll know when you are ready to play doctor...I mean have sex.